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Love is a process, not a destination by Sarah Haden

1/1/2024

1 Comment

 
Throughout our life we keep meeting the delusion that our happiness rests only in the hands of others. At times this can feel intoxicatingly wonderful and at others hopelessly lost. We don’t realise that these cycles of boom and bust; the whirlwind romances, the abyss of an ending, and every feeling tone in between are all part of the same story. As we imprint the known onto the unknown with our version of love, laden with expectations and assumptions, we keep confirming our identity as we believe it to be. We tend towards believing our struggles lie exclusively in forces outside ourselves and so unknowingly stay in an economy of love where we can’t help but trade in securities in place of truth.

The system we’ve invested in finally crashes when we are left alone – it’s then, in the absence of soulmates, children, lovers, the best of friends, teachers, pets when we grieve for the experience that no longer births in conditions that have changed. Whether a relationship brought fulfilment, joy and connection and/or the very opposite and every feeling tone in between, we are left in disarray, confused and unrecognisable to ourselves in the space that remains. Usually we propel ourselves outwardly for relief and, if we are fortunate, we find the solace of friends who offer space and earth in our spinning and help us re-direct our energy in ways that sustain us. This support can be a true blessing but sometimes we have only ourselves to rely on. It’s often when we find ourselves scraping the bottom of the barrel that we find we are in fact ready to meet ourselves beyond the reference points of the old system. 

This is the time metaphorically to return to the womb, to recognise our smallness but also the room to expand. To help us feel comfortable and to hold ourselves softly in this birthing space, we need a living communication between the known and the unknown. It is here in the womb of our being, we find how love is a process and not a destination. Each pulse that brings life to a thought, a word, a movement has its own genesis beyond what we know, but how we nurture the growth of what is forming is an open road and up to us the way we go. If we wish, we can learn to meet everything that arrives without resisting our inner reality. This living communication gives us an exit from ways in which we are a victim in our story bringing new beginnings into every movement.  Seeing and loving as a flow of experience brings us to a state of calm and ease with every point of tension and hardness that previously brought us to solidify. Instead of crystalising into a singular perspective, we can soften what’s causing division and disconnect and let what’s truly light shine. This discovery of how love is a process means our old personal versions, laden with expectations and assumptions lose their grip and we are finally free to join the story we were always meant for. 

1 Comment
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29/1/2025 10:37:30 am

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    Authors

    Hugh Poulton SYT and Sarah Haden RYT are developers of the Sukhita Yoga Method. Their outside-the-box approach is fresh, direct & relevant, a product of Hugh’s 30+ years of yoga + mindfulness experience and Sarah’s contemporary perspective.

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