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The Art and Science of Smiling by Hugh

25/11/2021

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When someone walks into a room with an infectious smile we often find ourselves smiling along and feeling better for it.
Well there’s more to this than many of us realise. When we feel happy it’s natural to smile. When we see someone else smile it’s natural to smile back. But what about those times we don’t feel so upbeat and there isn’t someone else’s smile to help. Instead of getting caught up and ruminating about how we feel research has now shown the positive value of ‘smiling through’.
When we smile in response to feeling happy or not, something really special happens. We send a signal to our brain that releases mood enhancing compounds that give us an uplifted feeling. This happens even when we smile regardless of how we feel. The effect is enhanced further when we smile with our eyes as well as our lips. So smiling can be in response to how we feel or change how we feel.

So how do we learn to smile when we least feel like it? Over the last 20 years huge strides have been made in understanding how the human brain learns and trains. Instead of being fixed as we enter adulthood it’s now understood that our brain remains adaptable all through our lives. It can learn new tricks at any age, just not as quickly as when we were younger. All we need to do is train it, and train it consistently. Repetition is important here. Knowing that and understanding all is not lost we can retrain our response to the challenging and difficult.

That’s the science, what’s the art of smiling?
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This is how we apply this knowledge. How do we take it into daily life and daily experience? Whenever we feel challenged, whatever we are facing if we train ourselves to smile and relax the tension we feel both in our body and inside our head, our mind will feel more uplifted and expansive and we’ll get less caught in the spiral of thoughts, judgements and self-criticism that can be so disabling at these times.  That will help us face whatever we are dealing with from a more balanced place enabling us make better choices whilst being kinder to ourselves and those around us.
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​Calm and clear comprehension, two essential sides of a meditation practice by Hugh Poulton and Sarah Haden

3/10/2021

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“Here feeling, thoughts and perceptions are understood as they arise, understood as they remain present, understood as they pass away. It is this way that you exercise clear comprehension. “ (Abbrev from SN 47.35)

Today we are increasingly familiar with popular practices to reduce stress, induce calm and promote wellbeing. They help fix uncomfortable feelings and quieten emotions. What’s often left unsaid and waiting to be explored is how a meditation practice can help us address the underlying cause of feeling out of balance, so we can really change deep seated patterns from a place of understanding and live more easily with what comes along to test us. This path is not so much about getting a quick fix and then needing another, as about an attitude to looking after ourselves through a practice which quietly, gradually and sustainably transforms us towards wholesome experience over time.

The calm we can be looking and hoping for in meditation is just one aspect of practice. Certainly it can give us a mental resting place from the overstimulation we are used to, but importantly it creates space for us to develop the clear comprehension that is vital for the quiet, gradual and sustainable internal transformation we’d find beneficial. When the aspects of calm and clear comprehension are developed together we are giving ourselves the best chance for a natural unfolding of this experience and wisdom.

How does this happen?

As our mind begins to calm we can develop a more subtle awareness around every day experiences. If we are careful we can consciously direct this awareness to observing how aspects of our experience begin, how they persist and how they subsequently fade away. This means paying particular attention to three aspects:

· The first of these is feeling meaning sensation. There is a reflex to sensation which we can learn to recognise as simply pleasant, unpleasant or neither pleasant or unpleasant.

· The second aspect is our thoughts, including images in our mind.

· Lastly our perceptions; the mental process that becomes aware of our experience and identifies through memory.

From this directed awareness the clear comprehension we need to progress can develop and it’s possible to see that all we take personally is actually impermanent. At this stage our meditation practice enables us to begin to address the underlying causes of feeling out of balance in daily life. Each time we meet movements of mind without getting involved, we are guiding our mind to re-balance and re-set to feel steady. It takes a particular kind of effort for this to fall into place with ease and we’ll be exploring what this means another time. When it does, our practice supports us to take the fuel away from the uncomfortable feelings and emotions that drag us down to transform our experience quietly, gradually and sustainably towards the wholesome.
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The simple act of smiling by Hugh Poulton

14/9/2021

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When we smile it has a transforming effect within ourselves and those around us. We all know what it’s like to be with someone who has a sunny personality. Everything feels a little lighter, more possible, optimistic, connected. At times we can feel if only I were more like that……..

What’s interesting is we can be!
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This doesn’t mean having a relentlessly positive and hi-vibing energy all of the time, constantly cheerful. It’s more subtle than that. It’s a question of looking at the reasons we aren’t smiling.

It’s easy to smile when everything is going our way, we feel energized and in control of our life and direction. What about all the other times?

At these times, smiling is even more important and it’s not about feeling happy, at least not yet.
This smiling is about our response to challenge and difficulty, it’s not false or trying to suppress or disguise how we feel. This smiling is the act of recognizing that our reaction to our present experience is to feel tense, constricted, withdrawn, disconnected in our mind, heart and body that may even extend into feelings of abandonment or loss. It’s a sign that we have taken our experience personally in the sense that we have identified with it, something that is being done TO me.

In truth our reaction to whatever the circumstances are, have come FROM me. When we recognize this, we don’t have to react the same way every-time something like this happens. We can de-couple the rightness or wrongness of what happened from our reaction.

If we’re careful this decoupling means we can still be smiling without feeling our smile trivializes what’s happening.  My smiling is me looking after myself, restoring a sense of balance to an imbalanced situation. 

It’s so hard to smile at times.

I know, at times smiling can feel like the last thing you want to do. There’s so much going on in your head, so much emotion, commentary, judgement and self-criticism. Remember, choosing to smile isn’t forcing you to feel happy, it’s the process of releasing tension in your face, particularly around your jaw, lifting the corners of your mouth AND the corners of your eyes. BOTH are important here. This sends a signal to your brain which causes the release of the same chemicals as when you are happy.

So two things are happening here, you are changing your habitual reaction to the circumstances by choosing to respond with a smile (increasing your sense of self-control in a situation you may have no control over) AND you are releasing the chemicals within your brain that will bring a change in mood.

How to practice.

Make a determination in the morning to smile into everything that happens during your day. Then notice the times when your smile has faded, and smile again and keep your smile going. Let me know how you get on. 
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Is Humility the secret to inner confidence?  by Sarah Haden

19/8/2021

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In recent weeks we’ve been talking a lot about humility: what it is; how easily we can misinterpret it; and how becoming more aware of how to have it, can help us find an inner confidence that is grounded, realistic and helpful to move forward in different areas of our lives.


What is humility?

Humility is often described as a virtue, and the Buddha considered it an important part of spiritual practice and daily life. It is however is a tricky thing to pin down. It’s often confused with self-deprecation, either the fine art of self-effacing modesty or the destructive process of running ourselves down. Here are a few ideas about the confusion we can experience: Can you recall feeling uncomfortable in the face of a meaningful compliment or is it straightforward to accept the gift in the moment? Or perhaps you have an inner commentary about not being experienced or skilled enough for a task that is within your capability or reasonable potential? What about a covert desire for affirmation for yourself whilst overtly praising others? Or presenting something one way when actually you feel about it another – an elaborate meal as taking not much effort, something expensive as a sale bargain, a beautiful photo of you as being all down to the photographer? Some of these ways of communicating with ourselves and at times with others can become so ingrained that we don’t see them as they are happening and so misinterpret the presence of humility when in fact there is a different back story in our subconscious running the experience.


How can we become more aware of how to have humility?

All this suggests that humility is something we can grow into but how might we do this? Changing our perspective about confidence is really helpful here. Sometimes there are things we do well whilst acting from the best place within ourselves and then there are other times where we could do better. Understanding this cultivates a particular sort of confidence: the confidence that it’s ok to be imperfect – one that acknowledges our capacity and ability but also recognizes that we are not complete and there’s more work to be done and that this is absolutely natural and fine. This is an awareness we can feel secure in, because we are seeing things clearly for what they are and then can grow in confidence to be in a dynamic place of learning.


The Buddha praised this clear-sightedness and how it reveals what is wholesome and what is less so because it gives us the energy to change. He taught a practice to see the inner workings of our mind without getting caught up in unhelpful patterns of thinking, beliefs and others opinions. As we practice meditation, it’s not long before we begin to see our motivations, beliefs, opinions, our attitudes and capacities. Such simple, direct and straightforward feedback about our strengths and weaknesses helps us identify the growth we need and gives us the capacity to learn effectively.


In this way, humility is a good friend, freeing us from the reflex to hide away from areas for growth whilst maintaining a balanced self-regard.
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Moving with less stress and more ease by Sarah Haden

10/6/2021

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One of our missions/intentions given our respective ages – 62 Hugh and later this week 52 me, is to share some confidence that yoga is an ageless practice. As we get older the way we have learned to move helps us feel lighter. For us, this comes about by sensing energetic connection and directing conscious subtle internal movements that create the external form. It’s a wonderful discovery to recognise that all our body asks of us is to listen and care for it and above all, let it be itself in balance.

Each time we practice we keep releasing tension out of our mind as well as our body and guiding ourselves to restore healthy internal connections that will bring us into balance. When we experience the mind dropping its tendency to strive and relaxing into openness, the body simultaneously releases into its natural dynamic capacity. This enables us to move with less stress and more ease and leads us in the direction of deeper states of equanimity. In this way of practice our body gives us a tangible wholesome experience of what it feels like to leave behind our stressful habits of over-controlling and encourages us to keep practising taking everything less personally.

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Breaking the cycle of consumption to live more sustainably with Hugh and Sarah

5/4/2021

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We are all caught in the cycle of consumption, it’s part of the fabric of our lives.

Mostly, our consuming is down to one of the following:
 
1.     Basic need, shelter, warmth and food
2.     Wellbeing and happiness
3.     Attracting attention
4.     Reinforcing our sense of belonging and identity
5.     Giving social status
6.     Out of habit, that’s so familiar we don’t notice we’re doing it.

Part of the solution to living more sustainably and breaking this cycle lies in understanding why we consume: how we all have more ‘stuff’ than we need and why we acquired it. 
 
Every choice we make is subject to the temptations of consumer therapy, whether it’s the newest technology, the latest model of this or that, or shopping to feel better, be it clothes, food or alcohol or desiring a change of scene, climate or culture. We engage in this to feel better and here’s the rub. At best it does, but only for a short time and then we need to do it all again.  It’s this repetition we’re addicted to and is so resource hungry. 
 
Sustainable activities and awareness training can help us re-balance our emotional triggers: more nature, more arts and crafts, more exercise, more contemplation practices, more music, more care, more creativity.  Rather than giving up our pleasures, directing our attention in these ways can enable us to find more appreciation and awareness to fully enjoy ourselves without the emotional driver to addictively repeat them quite so often. ​
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Staying more in balance when you’re feeling anxious about Covid with Sarah

15/1/2021

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All of us would love to feel in balance with whatever is going on, but at some point or other in our lives it’s inevitable we’ll experience the opposite; it’s just part and parcel of being human. Part of our work helps people discover the inner resources to turn around anxiety and other difficult states of mind in ways that feel real and long lasting. A pandemic shows us just how important it is to look after our mental health just as much as our physical body and that it’s normal to feel some anxiety in uncertain times. We thought it would be helpful to share some simple approaches that help you begin to find these inner resources:
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  1. Review how you are already taking care of yourself around the virus. What have you chosen to do to help prevent catching and spreading? How are you supporting your own and others’ wellbeing and is there anything you can tighten up on? Recognise the possibility of Covid fatigue and falling back into autopilot. Being vigilant takes effort and energy especially when walking, jogging, queuing, getting in and out of cars, receiving deliveries, talking to others you meet, even washing your hands – recognize that in these times it’s important to sharpen your focus and not be embarrassed when you feel the need to move away or ask someone to do something different.
  2. Reduce your somatic anxiety (expressed as tension held in your body). Here, easy meditation exercises and yoga exercises are hugely beneficial to help you learn how to ease tension. Simply shaking out your body can be very effective. Daily walks in nature will make a real difference too. If you’re in an urban environment, direct your attention when you can to anything natural in your surroundings.
  3. Reduce your scrolling screen-time; let your eyes take a rest and your brain a break from the stimuli, particularly helpful in the hour before sleep. It’s hard to switch off a stimulated mind and rest is an important part of taking care of ourselves.
  4. Identify a few reliable sources of coronavirus information and only spend a limited time reading about what is going on and to keep up to date with the latest public health safety advice. Be supportive to others, helping them think calmly about it.
  5. Take good care of your immune system; getting enough sleep/rest is important; moderate not excessive exercise, review your diet, do your best to reduce alcohol consumption and smoking and make changes to support good gut health.
  6. Give some attention to activities you enjoy. If you’re not sure what to do or want to try something new, enjoy researching ideas and options. If in any doubt, try (7) below as a start:
  7. Grow something. Research suggests getting your hands in the soil has an impact on depression and anxiety. In cold weather it’s less appealing to get out in the garden. Try sprouting seeds, they just take 3 or 4 days in a jam jar on a windowsill. Uplifting to observe in the winter and nutritious to eat, this is easy and fun for every age group to try.
  8. Recognise any tendency to fall into catastrophising and re-ground using one or more of these simple approaches (see 2 above).
  9. Be in touch with friends and family and remember not everyone is comfortable initiating or has the mental space to think about getting in touch. Ask open questions – these help create connection.
  10. Recognise you’re only human and that there’ll be good and bad days. Remember: “If you expect your life to be up and down your mind will be much more peaceful.” Lama Yeshe
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Stepping Forward by Sarah Haden

1/11/2020

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What to do when it feels like one step forward and two steps back?

First of all we need to encourage some space around our mindset.  It’s so easy to fall into tramlined patterns of negative thinking. It’s not about avoiding difficult realities but making sure that our habitual thinking doesn’t automatically add to our feeling worse.  
 
Then we need a healthy honesty and ask ourselves; “Given what we are facing right now, where can I make a difference and where can’t I?” It’s an understandable reflex to focus on what can’t be done and worry about that. Learning instead to shift our attention to face towards what can be done, where we can make a difference even if it’s small or seemingly insignificant, helps us move forward.
 
When we find ourselves anxious or low it is really important to challenge the harsh inner commentary and critic and invite in a kinder and more forgiving voice. It’s not easy, but learning this mental agility and softer approach is invaluable. 
 
Recognising that circumstances and fortunes ebb and flow is a hard but helpful reflection. We generally resent change when it disrupts our view of ourselves or our world.  We can feel uncomfortable reviewing aspects of our lives that felt certain only to suddenly realise their impermanence.
 
Our assumptions of continuity and perhaps entitlement are kicked into touch when we see clearly, and although a difficult perspective to take onboard, it can help us shape things differently in the future. Coming to terms with this new reality helps free our mind to think with innovation and creativity, essential qualities for us to adjust and find a surer footing for stepping forward.
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Waking up by Sarah Haden

21/4/2020

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​Four weeks ago, my last face to face teaching seemed a bit out there as I talked about how Sukhita Yoga looks after us both through life and as preparation for death. Socially we’re not too comfortable broaching the subject of the fullness of our life-cycle but in the short space of time that has passed since then, we find ourselves catapulted into a stark new reality. Some of our old certainties seem so shallow and unreliable in compelling contrast to the familiarity of the changing seasons which we find stimulating and reassuring. Change is upon us and is coming from the outside in, challenging our habits, attitudes, our coping strategies and values. It is the biggest shake up for our generation and a clarion call to wake up and live with greater awareness, love and responsibility.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been struck just how different our experience of these changing circumstances can be. It’s striking to reflect…

…. how some of our students appreciate the break from stressful work, others are working flat out, some are in key worker families and at the front-line of extreme physical, psychological and emotional pressure, others already have no income from self-employed roles which have abruptly come to a stop and are dealing with the immediate anxiety of seeking support, some live alone and are denied the social lives that gave connection and interaction, still others are focused on adapting to and evolving with the new circumstances. There is commonality of cause and huge diversity of affect.

….how differently society is responding. After initially being caught up in our uncertainty, there are wonderful initiatives of support for the NHS, recognition of personal responsibility and individual acts of kindness and self-sacrifice. In contrast others have been lost in denial with their rejection of social distancing and presumably also the impact of their action.

……how mind states are volatile and deeply challenging when we feel our status quo and expectation of the future is threatened and how clear the dilemmas surrounding the human condition appear at times like this. It’s more obvious now on a collective level to recognise the enormous value of yoga and meditation to help ease the suffering we feel and renew our values and direction.

…how we are being invited to see the earth re-flowering without our polluting imprint, with dolphins in the waters of Venice and views of the Himalayas not seen in 30 years…..affirming just how intertwined our actions are with the planet we inhabit.

…how peoples of different nations and continents are united in a shared vulnerability, facing a disease that knows no borders, walls or other divisions that control and divide….inviting us all wherever we are to question our response more deeply and our shared connection.

It is time to take a long and patient look at our contribution to where we find ourselves. Governments, like all of us are human, flawed and temporary and more often reflect the society that elected them. We have driven ourselves in the West into so many dead ends fuelled by ideologies like “the market knows best” and the relentless pursuit of growth, rising markets and limitless consumer choice. Climate change has been on our lips but not enough in our hearts. When we indebt ourselves, consume more than we can sustain in the present, be it financially, morally or spiritually we mortgage our future. It’s the same with the world we live in, when we consume more than it can sustain we too mortgage its future. Right now we have a unique opportunity to witness the impact of a global change of direction, one that would have been politically impossible to bring about (think of the limited success of all the climate change summits) to taste a reduced consuming lifestyle and understand the impact at an individual level and to ask ourselves, which future do we want, because they each have a cost. How would you feel about saving the vast coral reefs, the wildlife of the Serengeti, the glaciers of the Himalaya’s or the forests of the Amazon if it meant giving up the choice to see them?

As an inspiring and realistic boss of mine used to say when faced with the seemingly impossible “we are where we are”. Being grounded in the present moment is the only place from which we can make real and meaningful change, whatever has come before.

So it feels particularly important that we now spend time growing a sense of spaciousness for a wider awareness and explore what it means to have individual and collective responsibility. This process of expansion has always been a natural part of spiritual retreat and will allow us to prepare for new beginnings as our old norms move out of view. We should not be surprised about feeling lost and afraid. Riding change on this scale and relinquishing old habits will not be easy for any of us.

This is why our practice is so helpful and important…it clears and prepares the way, giving us little steps to take and showing us greater perspectives beyond our own small and sometimes fragile identity. Mind states are happily not permanent and it’s comforting to recognise that we are more like clay than we might imagine and can be moulded and re-moulded with the intentions we set for ourselves and the presence we grow within us.

For now our task is to strengthen our capacity for inner space, to sense our way forward and find balance in this turbulence. We need to set a direction that teaches us how to take care of ourselves, how to turn towards the difficult with love and compassion, how to rise when we feel broken and how in turn to expand our understanding, love and compassion towards others. None of this is a quick fix but with patient practice each small step becomes a path as extraordinary as life itself.

Here is a suggestion to help you over the days, weeks and months ahead:
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Spend time in nature, go barefoot if you can and let yourself relax into the weight of your body in contact with the ground, breathe. Don’t be in a rush to move on and entertain your mind. Wait, let your thoughts move on by, smile and relax, feel your breath, make the mental effort to rest with your breath and not give in to restlessness and move away. Keep going for a few minutes and gradually with practice increase this time. Encourage yourself, knowing that when you do this you are growing your inner reserves for balance and the space where you will feel your intentions for the way ahead and plant the seeds for love.

​If you are unable to go outside, bring a plant or something natural in your line of sight so your eyes can relax with organic shape and colour and then begin.
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Immune to Nature?   by Hugh Poulton

21/3/2020

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There can't be many times in world history where almost the entire population of the world is faced with the same challenge in the same way with the same fears, worries and anxieties. This is a huge collective moment and is an unprecedented opportunity to see the commonality between us.

With the Corona Virus all around we’re all interested in ways to support our health and immunity. One key component is to reduce the amount of long term stress we feel. There is substantial evidence of the therapeutic benefit of being with and in nature in reducing stress and the support it gives recovering from illness.


Whilst taking exercise outside is good for us physically, we can also hugely benefit mentally by simply ‘being’ in nature. The distinction between being and doing is important here and is the key to de-stressing. Often we are not familiar with the value, concept and experience of mental space that ‘being’ creates and so it can be perceived as timewasting or purposeless. Learning the skills of ‘being’ helps us to be more relaxed around challenge and difficult feelings and less likely to use habitual busyness as a strategy to avoid them. Such an internal gear shift can have far reaching impact. We can begin to learn to move from stress mode to balance mode and have a greater resilience around looking after ourselves and those around us.

How to do this?  

Nature gives us an immediate and diverse sensory landscape to help us connect to an experience of ‘being’. When we take a pause, stop for a moment and either sitting or standing allow ourselves to close our eyes, we become aware of another dimension to our experience. Try listening to birdsong, hearing the rustle of leaves, the breeze on your face, the coolness of your in-breath, the warmth of your out-breath, the texture of what you touch, the smells of Spring. If you are walking, become aware of the changing soundscape, smell-scape and feeling beneath your feet as you walk across the earth. Different parts of our brain begin to be activated as we expand our awareness in this way, reducing the level of stress we feel. The benefits increase with time and regularity of practice.

What to do if you can’t get outside?

Try to rest in a room that has a view of nature and if that’s not possible, research has shown that listening to the sound of nature, even a recording, has a wonderful destressing effect and can be particularly helpful getting to sleep. Sit back, close your eyes and lose yourself in the sound of it all. If you’re not sure where to start, try searching for one of these online: water sounds and birdsong, rain and thunder, seashore waves, whale song.
It’s important for us all to recognize that we can have a positive impact on the stress we feel, that we can activate an innate capacity within ourselves, and to help us, we have the most wonderful friend in nature.
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    Authors

    Hugh Poulton SYT and Sarah Haden RYT are developers of the Sukhita Yoga Method. Their outside-the-box approach is fresh, direct & relevant, a product of Hugh’s 30+ years of yoga + mindfulness experience and Sarah’s contemporary perspective.

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