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Staying more in balance when you’re feeling anxious about Covid with Sarah

15/1/2021

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All of us would love to feel in balance with whatever is going on, but at some point or other in our lives it’s inevitable we’ll experience the opposite; it’s just part and parcel of being human. Part of our work helps people discover the inner resources to turn around anxiety and other difficult states of mind in ways that feel real and long lasting. A pandemic shows us just how important it is to look after our mental health just as much as our physical body and that it’s normal to feel some anxiety in uncertain times. We thought it would be helpful to share some simple approaches that help you begin to find these inner resources:
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  1. Review how you are already taking care of yourself around the virus. What have you chosen to do to help prevent catching and spreading? How are you supporting your own and others’ wellbeing and is there anything you can tighten up on? Recognise the possibility of Covid fatigue and falling back into autopilot. Being vigilant takes effort and energy especially when walking, jogging, queuing, getting in and out of cars, receiving deliveries, talking to others you meet, even washing your hands – recognize that in these times it’s important to sharpen your focus and not be embarrassed when you feel the need to move away or ask someone to do something different.
  2. Reduce your somatic anxiety (expressed as tension held in your body). Here, easy meditation exercises and yoga exercises are hugely beneficial to help you learn how to ease tension. Simply shaking out your body can be very effective. Daily walks in nature will make a real difference too. If you’re in an urban environment, direct your attention when you can to anything natural in your surroundings.
  3. Reduce your scrolling screen-time; let your eyes take a rest and your brain a break from the stimuli, particularly helpful in the hour before sleep. It’s hard to switch off a stimulated mind and rest is an important part of taking care of ourselves.
  4. Identify a few reliable sources of coronavirus information and only spend a limited time reading about what is going on and to keep up to date with the latest public health safety advice. Be supportive to others, helping them think calmly about it.
  5. Take good care of your immune system; getting enough sleep/rest is important; moderate not excessive exercise, review your diet, do your best to reduce alcohol consumption and smoking and make changes to support good gut health.
  6. Give some attention to activities you enjoy. If you’re not sure what to do or want to try something new, enjoy researching ideas and options. If in any doubt, try (7) below as a start:
  7. Grow something. Research suggests getting your hands in the soil has an impact on depression and anxiety. In cold weather it’s less appealing to get out in the garden. Try sprouting seeds, they just take 3 or 4 days in a jam jar on a windowsill. Uplifting to observe in the winter and nutritious to eat, this is easy and fun for every age group to try.
  8. Recognise any tendency to fall into catastrophising and re-ground using one or more of these simple approaches (see 2 above).
  9. Be in touch with friends and family and remember not everyone is comfortable initiating or has the mental space to think about getting in touch. Ask open questions – these help create connection.
  10. Recognise you’re only human and that there’ll be good and bad days. Remember: “If you expect your life to be up and down your mind will be much more peaceful.” Lama Yeshe
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Stepping Forward by Sarah Haden

1/11/2020

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What to do when it feels like one step forward and two steps back?

First of all we need to encourage some space around our mindset.  It’s so easy to fall into tramlined patterns of negative thinking. It’s not about avoiding difficult realities but making sure that our habitual thinking doesn’t automatically add to our feeling worse.  
 
Then we need a healthy honesty and ask ourselves; “Given what we are facing right now, where can I make a difference and where can’t I?” It’s an understandable reflex to focus on what can’t be done and worry about that. Learning instead to shift our attention to face towards what can be done, where we can make a difference even if it’s small or seemingly insignificant, helps us move forward.
 
When we find ourselves anxious or low it is really important to challenge the harsh inner commentary and critic and invite in a kinder and more forgiving voice. It’s not easy, but learning this mental agility and softer approach is invaluable. 
 
Recognising that circumstances and fortunes ebb and flow is a hard but helpful reflection. We generally resent change when it disrupts our view of ourselves or our world.  We can feel uncomfortable reviewing aspects of our lives that felt certain only to suddenly realise their impermanence.
 
Our assumptions of continuity and perhaps entitlement are kicked into touch when we see clearly, and although a difficult perspective to take onboard, it can help us shape things differently in the future. Coming to terms with this new reality helps free our mind to think with innovation and creativity, essential qualities for us to adjust and find a surer footing for stepping forward.
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Waking up by Sarah Haden

21/4/2020

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​Four weeks ago, my last face to face teaching seemed a bit out there as I talked about how Sukhita Yoga looks after us both through life and as preparation for death. Socially we’re not too comfortable broaching the subject of the fullness of our life-cycle but in the short space of time that has passed since then, we find ourselves catapulted into a stark new reality. Some of our old certainties seem so shallow and unreliable in compelling contrast to the familiarity of the changing seasons which we find stimulating and reassuring. Change is upon us and is coming from the outside in, challenging our habits, attitudes, our coping strategies and values. It is the biggest shake up for our generation and a clarion call to wake up and live with greater awareness, love and responsibility.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been struck just how different our experience of these changing circumstances can be. It’s striking to reflect…

…. how some of our students appreciate the break from stressful work, others are working flat out, some are in key worker families and at the front-line of extreme physical, psychological and emotional pressure, others already have no income from self-employed roles which have abruptly come to a stop and are dealing with the immediate anxiety of seeking support, some live alone and are denied the social lives that gave connection and interaction, still others are focused on adapting to and evolving with the new circumstances. There is commonality of cause and huge diversity of affect.

….how differently society is responding. After initially being caught up in our uncertainty, there are wonderful initiatives of support for the NHS, recognition of personal responsibility and individual acts of kindness and self-sacrifice. In contrast others have been lost in denial with their rejection of social distancing and presumably also the impact of their action.

……how mind states are volatile and deeply challenging when we feel our status quo and expectation of the future is threatened and how clear the dilemmas surrounding the human condition appear at times like this. It’s more obvious now on a collective level to recognise the enormous value of yoga and meditation to help ease the suffering we feel and renew our values and direction.

…how we are being invited to see the earth re-flowering without our polluting imprint, with dolphins in the waters of Venice and views of the Himalayas not seen in 30 years…..affirming just how intertwined our actions are with the planet we inhabit.

…how peoples of different nations and continents are united in a shared vulnerability, facing a disease that knows no borders, walls or other divisions that control and divide….inviting us all wherever we are to question our response more deeply and our shared connection.

It is time to take a long and patient look at our contribution to where we find ourselves. Governments, like all of us are human, flawed and temporary and more often reflect the society that elected them. We have driven ourselves in the West into so many dead ends fuelled by ideologies like “the market knows best” and the relentless pursuit of growth, rising markets and limitless consumer choice. Climate change has been on our lips but not enough in our hearts. When we indebt ourselves, consume more than we can sustain in the present, be it financially, morally or spiritually we mortgage our future. It’s the same with the world we live in, when we consume more than it can sustain we too mortgage its future. Right now we have a unique opportunity to witness the impact of a global change of direction, one that would have been politically impossible to bring about (think of the limited success of all the climate change summits) to taste a reduced consuming lifestyle and understand the impact at an individual level and to ask ourselves, which future do we want, because they each have a cost. How would you feel about saving the vast coral reefs, the wildlife of the Serengeti, the glaciers of the Himalaya’s or the forests of the Amazon if it meant giving up the choice to see them?

As an inspiring and realistic boss of mine used to say when faced with the seemingly impossible “we are where we are”. Being grounded in the present moment is the only place from which we can make real and meaningful change, whatever has come before.

So it feels particularly important that we now spend time growing a sense of spaciousness for a wider awareness and explore what it means to have individual and collective responsibility. This process of expansion has always been a natural part of spiritual retreat and will allow us to prepare for new beginnings as our old norms move out of view. We should not be surprised about feeling lost and afraid. Riding change on this scale and relinquishing old habits will not be easy for any of us.

This is why our practice is so helpful and important…it clears and prepares the way, giving us little steps to take and showing us greater perspectives beyond our own small and sometimes fragile identity. Mind states are happily not permanent and it’s comforting to recognise that we are more like clay than we might imagine and can be moulded and re-moulded with the intentions we set for ourselves and the presence we grow within us.

For now our task is to strengthen our capacity for inner space, to sense our way forward and find balance in this turbulence. We need to set a direction that teaches us how to take care of ourselves, how to turn towards the difficult with love and compassion, how to rise when we feel broken and how in turn to expand our understanding, love and compassion towards others. None of this is a quick fix but with patient practice each small step becomes a path as extraordinary as life itself.

Here is a suggestion to help you over the days, weeks and months ahead:
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Spend time in nature, go barefoot if you can and let yourself relax into the weight of your body in contact with the ground, breathe. Don’t be in a rush to move on and entertain your mind. Wait, let your thoughts move on by, smile and relax, feel your breath, make the mental effort to rest with your breath and not give in to restlessness and move away. Keep going for a few minutes and gradually with practice increase this time. Encourage yourself, knowing that when you do this you are growing your inner reserves for balance and the space where you will feel your intentions for the way ahead and plant the seeds for love.

​If you are unable to go outside, bring a plant or something natural in your line of sight so your eyes can relax with organic shape and colour and then begin.
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Immune to Nature?   by Hugh Poulton

21/3/2020

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There can't be many times in world history where almost the entire population of the world is faced with the same challenge in the same way with the same fears, worries and anxieties. This is a huge collective moment and is an unprecedented opportunity to see the commonality between us.

With the Corona Virus all around we’re all interested in ways to support our health and immunity. One key component is to reduce the amount of long term stress we feel. There is substantial evidence of the therapeutic benefit of being with and in nature in reducing stress and the support it gives recovering from illness.


Whilst taking exercise outside is good for us physically, we can also hugely benefit mentally by simply ‘being’ in nature. The distinction between being and doing is important here and is the key to de-stressing. Often we are not familiar with the value, concept and experience of mental space that ‘being’ creates and so it can be perceived as timewasting or purposeless. Learning the skills of ‘being’ helps us to be more relaxed around challenge and difficult feelings and less likely to use habitual busyness as a strategy to avoid them. Such an internal gear shift can have far reaching impact. We can begin to learn to move from stress mode to balance mode and have a greater resilience around looking after ourselves and those around us.

How to do this?  

Nature gives us an immediate and diverse sensory landscape to help us connect to an experience of ‘being’. When we take a pause, stop for a moment and either sitting or standing allow ourselves to close our eyes, we become aware of another dimension to our experience. Try listening to birdsong, hearing the rustle of leaves, the breeze on your face, the coolness of your in-breath, the warmth of your out-breath, the texture of what you touch, the smells of Spring. If you are walking, become aware of the changing soundscape, smell-scape and feeling beneath your feet as you walk across the earth. Different parts of our brain begin to be activated as we expand our awareness in this way, reducing the level of stress we feel. The benefits increase with time and regularity of practice.

What to do if you can’t get outside?

Try to rest in a room that has a view of nature and if that’s not possible, research has shown that listening to the sound of nature, even a recording, has a wonderful destressing effect and can be particularly helpful getting to sleep. Sit back, close your eyes and lose yourself in the sound of it all. If you’re not sure where to start, try searching for one of these online: water sounds and birdsong, rain and thunder, seashore waves, whale song.
It’s important for us all to recognize that we can have a positive impact on the stress we feel, that we can activate an innate capacity within ourselves, and to help us, we have the most wonderful friend in nature.
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This being Human by Sarah Haden

26/2/2020

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This being human


“Humans are funny things. They seem to be constantly searching for external happiness when they need look no further than inside themselves.”


I enjoyed this quote from a student of ours when we were talking together about relationships. It succinctly sums up how we can easily miss the actual one that would make a big difference, looking instead and repeatedly in all the wrong places for that “feel good” factor, that’s often quick to come, quick to go.


It begs the question: “Why don’t we do it?”


The hard to swallow truth is that we’ve mostly learnt to avoid, deny or run away from the experience of vulnerability felt in the body, often a buried part of us that we have not exposed to scrutiny or kindness; perhaps a sensation of hollowing or emptying or an uncomfortable tightening somewhere inside us that manifests in obvious moments of escalating tension but also the more obscure.


A “stiff upper lip” approach down the generations has not done us any favours when it comes to learning and valuing emotional literacy and curiosity about embodied inquiry. Instead it can appear to be an easy fix to succumb to habits that make us temporarily feel at ease….but the impact is never long lasting and so we can develop patterns that keep us prisoners of our own unconscious making.


This begs the question: “What can we do about this condition of being human?”


Well, there is a long answer, but the short one is I am reminded of a reply a 10 year old student gave me when I asked what he had learnt so far:


“Yoga is like a second home.
I can feel myself.
I can look after my mental health and my wellbeing.”


It’s moments like this that the future for being human feels full of promise and hope.
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Compassionate Celebration

24/12/2019

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Publicity, promotion and advertising happily portray the festive season as joyful and peaceful, a time of rekindled friendships and expressions of love. We would all certainly wish it to be so but feeling happy, smiling and enjoying yourself isn't something you can fabricate. At times when things are not as you would wish, or you fall short, pretending can make you feel unloved and alone, even or perhaps especially in a crowd. At these times what can you do?

This is a time for compassion, compassion towards yourself:
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  • First, challenge your autopilot response: Tell yourself "this is a moment of discomfort". Allow yourself to feel this in your body, perhaps a tightness in the chest, a gripping in the gut, feeling hot or something else. 
  • Second, recognise your common humanity: discomfort is a part of normal life (not everything can be perfect) and many others react in similar ways when triggered by events.
  • Third, reconnect with yourself, perhaps internally , saying "I'm sorry you're struggling right now, this is hard" (just like you would to a close friend) and allow yourself to feel understood and seen by yourself.
  • Fourth, appreciate this isn't all about you: This is part of everyone's human experience, you are not uniquely useless, inadequate, hopeless. We all feel like this at times.
  • Forgive yourself for not understanding and softly smile.

For those times when others don’t behave as you would expect or desire, repeat as above but also:
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  • Consider how reasonable is it that they conform to your standards and norms. Remember your emotions are caused in your reaction to this person. Other people might not find the same behaviour annoying at all.
  • Relax the tension inside your head around your brain and let your heart open.
  • Reflect whether their background, life experience and unawareness is the driver behind behaviour or attitude that appears lacking. If you create space for yourself in this way you'll begin to see more clearly in challenging situations and start to recognise expressions in others that are limited, reduced and contracted in some way. Notice the familiar deeply worn groove in yourself that you're invited to travel down in response and how different this freer space of non-emotive reaction is. Smile as you feel your way into a new and kinder engagement.

Allow yourself to ride whatever waves come your way this holiday, and sustain yourself by being conscious of making your best effort. Each time you smile and get back on your board, you’ll find yourself living in a more loving world that you have yourself created.
 
Happy surfing this holiday

Hugh and Sarah x


 
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Seeking a sustainable future by Sarah Haden and Hugh Poulton

25/10/2019

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We are all daily being reminded of the impact of our unsustainable use of the world’s resources. Our collective lack of awareness and reluctance to listen to our intuitive wisdom failed to recognise what’s there to be seen. Whilst we cannot continue our own addiction to growth if it means the exploitation and depletion of what we most depend upon, we do each have the power to more consciously guide our future choices. It’s said that we only find the motivation to change when the consequences directly impact us. Here lies the hope.


The idea that sustainability of energy and resources affects us in the most intimate way is less understood in the developed world. In our daily life we’re encouraged to let our consciousness flow outwardly, connecting through our senses with the world around us. It’s where we find engagement, excitement, stimulation and look for reward and meaning as well as the opposite. It’s what has driven us to seek for reward and meaning through the material and this has fed our addictions and thrown our inner compass off course.


When we learn to direct our flow of consciousness inwardly, we realise the human mind and body are a rich landscape ripe for discovery. Coming to understand ourselves beyond our outward physical shape and form enables us to connect with taking responsibility for our own resources, our energetic life force. Like any landscape, once discovered it is there for plundering or respecting and revering. This is what we practice in yoga….. creating an energetic balance within ourselves that is dynamic, sustainable and deeply caring rather than striving or forcing our minds and bodies in an outward way that is completely at odds with our true nature. What we then learn within ourselves becomes the mirror for a more balanced relationship with the outer world…and so, as we learn to harness our own resources we understand at an essential level our collective responsibility to harness the earth sustainably for the good of all.
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The value of connection: growing ancient roots for modern times

17/9/2019

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It is moments of true connection in life that are really memorable and touch us deeply. From random meetings where we recognize a kindred spirit or times spent in nature to rewarding relationships, our life presents many opportunities to connect with a richer sense of being.

When we are preoccupied with past events or anticipating what’s ahead, we can so easily miss moments like these, caught up in the busyness of our lives. Being on autopilot we unintentionally close ourselves down to many possibilities for connection and increase our vulnerability to being out of balance through stress, anxiety, anger and low mood.

What can we do?

Learning to recognise we are on autopilot is the first step towards cultivating a greater sense of connection. This awareness through self-inquiry is part of many different religions and ancient philosophies and in modern times has come to the attention of medical science and psychotherapy as a route to mental health and wellbeing.

Today the effectiveness of ancient meditation practice has been scientifically measured and proven. This research has given much wider acceptance to the importance of mind body awareness in creating connection and the practices like mindfulness that cultivate this.

Another accessible and popular approach is yoga. It invites us to re-discover and harness our own energy in a sustainable way and direct it towards greater connection with our body and mind. This moves us beyond simple physical accomplishment to a different relationship with ourselves, others and the environment.
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Expanding individual consciousness in these ways is a powerful process of personal development. It develops a richer sense of being; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually that informs our relationship to all forms of life and the earth as a whole. These ancient roots have great value today showing us what work we need to do within ourselves to grow richer connections and a more sustainable future.


Sarah Haden and Hugh Poulton
Sukhita Yoga
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Opening to the fullness of life by Sarah

6/12/2018

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In this month's blog Sarah writes about Opening to the fullness of life and how all we need that is already within us.
 
To be awake in your body, to know its expression, to feel connection as well as vulnerability is to be fully alive.

By coming to know your inner landscape and how to embrace space, the chains of impulse fall away and a new wisdom and freedom of choice appears.
 
We can each create a home in ourselves where we can learn to trust again……to feel the whole of who we are, to recognise and celebrate the dance of life within us.

The more we can learn to relax our mental chatter and allow the flow of life to move towards our hearts, we invite the energy within us to find a harmony that transcends physical experience.
 
Renewing our most intimate conversations with connection, generosity and vulnerability opens a journey of discovery that leads us towards the essence of our life. 

Wherever we find ourselves, and whatever has gone before, we each have the capacity to transform and immerse ourselves in the freeing and healing power of nature. As we allow our energies to dance and embrace space we open our hearts afresh to merging with the fullness of life.

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Observe the Wonders by Sarah

29/4/2018

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​Lionel Smit's monumental Janus head scuplture where individual faces emerge from a joint origin their empty eyes averted 2014
“Observe the wonders as they
occur around you,
don’t claim them,
feel the artistry moving
through and be silent” Rumi
 
It’s tempting to be impatient in any practice or direction in life; all too often we can power through or give up because we want outward results fast, but as a consequence, progress of a more rounded nature is stunted. Our body and mind is not something to be conquered, battled against or suppressed, but a source of wisdom.
 
If we can learn to connect with the deepest parts of ourselves whether in yoga, dance or other movement approaches, we can begin to lay bare the inner patterns of holding in the body that restrict us. Setting a direction that is inclusive, physically, mentally and emotionally, we open different doors. 
 
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them” Einstein
 
Subtle awareness, both of the energetic body and the feel of the mind, develops our curiosity around our inner movement patterns and what they tell us about our triggered reactions, our complexity and expressions of ego.  It’s the beginning of a process of powerful transformation that directs us towards a deeper knowing of ourselves, both light and dark.
 
Gradually we can learn to become more comfortable around our imperfections, feeling our way through the body to open the door to the love and compassion for ourselves that has been missing.
 
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    Hugh Poulton SYT and Sarah Haden RYT are developers of the Sukhita Yoga Method. Their outside-the-box approach is fresh, direct & relevant, a product of Hugh’s 30+ years of yoga + mindfulness experience and Sarah’s contemporary perspective.

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